Sunday, November 15, 2015

Red Vengeance VI

Red Vengeance VI a.k.a The Walking Red part II

The world was a wreck, as I drifted in and out of consciousness, I watched as Trysten walked off into the wasteland. My body was red and furry, but my mind was my own. Trysten's blow and snappy line were the kick I needed to regain myself. It was hard to fight still, but as I woke up in stages, I was not acting as one of them, other than my voice which was inevitable due to the alteration of my vocal chords. I got to my feet. If i played the charade well enough around others of them (which wasn't hard due to the more than adequate periods of time I have spent with Him. I observed where I was: It was not the same place where we entered, I had been lying in front of an elevator. I thought, but it was significantly hard to get my thoughts in order while trying not to act as an elmo zombie. I stood there for what seemed like forever, a chill running down my spine as a thought occurred to me “That's what the chemical was,  not acid, but a ‘transformation catalyst ’ to change our mind and body" 
  
  If I was to survive in this form, I had to mark myself in a way subtle enough as to not alert the other EZs but to still differentiate myself as to alert Trysten. First though, I had to get home. I recognized where I was: near the police station. I approached and felt my stomach churn as I could only watch through a window as I watched Trysten get tossed into the prison showers towards the horrible Big Bird. I could only watch as they got closer to each other’s positions. I could only watch as they clumsily battered each other desperate for survival. I watched with pleasure as the yellow freak’s stuffing splattered the walls with one swift crack of Trysten’s bat. It was a long walk still to my house, but I could make it. As an EZ passed by, I pretended to act as elmo too. "Elmo loves to eat children, especially the liver!" He said in his horrible lisp. "Elmo loves baby liver" I spoke, terrified that he would become suspicious, but he wandered away humming the Elmo's world theme and I carried on my way. I saw a grocery store a block away. "I'll get a sharpie or something to mark myself." I thought. I walked through the shattered glass of what used to be an electric sliding door. I was barefoot, so I had to be careful when walking through the door not to cut myself. I hopped over and scanned the isles. It was amazing how fast the store had been cleared. Water, food, and other necessities were completely gone, It was almost completely barren, but I scavenged what I could: A marker to mark myself, and a baseball bat, I didn't worry about hiding it, many EZs carried weapons. 
   
  I didn't need sustainence it seemed, for there was nothing in me save for stuffing. My mouth was not connected to an esophagus anyway, so there would be no way to eat even if I had to. This meant that I could achieve great feats like swimming or running indefinitely, I had no bones, so I could easily fit myself into a small space to hide. Since Elmo was strong, so too was I. "Elmo: the perfect killing machine" I thought as I left the store. I had all that I need to survive the store. As I got outside I walked into the alley to mark myself. I drew a circle with an X through it on my hand. "It probably won't draw too much attention." I mumbled. As I walked down an uncrowded backstreet I found I was wrong. An EZ jumped out of a dumpster and pinned me to the ground. "Elmo doesn't like it when you lie to him." He yelled angrily. I quickly reached for my bat and clobbered him over the head. he stopped moving with a sickening whump to the dumpster. I couldn't believe my luck when I found a razor blade, a needle, and thread. I was the luckiest elmo in the world! I walked over to the body and took the razor blade and cut off the right hand. I used the razor to shave the fur off my right hand. I put its hand on like a glove and sewed it in place. Elmo doesn't have nerves to feel pain except for the pain of fighting off elmo in my mind, so I was perfectly fine sewing my own hand. I then drew the same mark on the palm, so I could hide it from EZs, but quickly show it to a human if I came across one as to not be killed. With the mark hidden away i realized that the EZs were a lot smarter than I thought. The one in the dumpster had instantly realized what the mark was for. They were not even close to human intelligence, but they were smarter than zombies would be expected to be. 
  
   Now was the time to get to my house. I walked slowly to not seem suspicious, and the trip was fairly uneventful, I took as many backstreets as possible. As I opened the door I heard a yell and looked up into the barrel of a 22. I backed away and raised my hand to my brother. “I’m not one of them!” I yelled as I showed him my mark. He was hesitant, but as he lowered his gun, I explained what happened. “Well we’re all safe in here. Please, just stay here with us.” He said calmly. “No. There’s nothing more they can do to me, I’m already infected, and I don’t want to cave and infect you guys too. I just need supplies.” He reluctantly handed me an Uzi. “Where did you get these?” “My secret arsenal.” I said I would return with a cure as I said goodbye to my family. “Can I bring one of the dogs? They can chew on the Elmo remains and act as a horse for me to ride?” “Go ahead, but be sure to take care of him!” My mother said sternly. I unchained my dog and galloped away.

   The first thing I did was go to another store in Selah. “Thank golly we live in a small town!” I thought to myself as I broke into a shop. I got some dog food and fed Milo before our first big journey.

Red Vengeance V

Red vengeance V AKA The Walking Red Part 1.

{3:44PM} 2 Hours of Chaos… Light. More like the lack of it. I had reached ground level after my encounter with that monster. The thing. Whatever it was, most have one name for it. Elmo. I just ventured out of his lair. It was different since I had last been on the surface. My dog Killer ran away from me once we hit the top. The sky seemed darker. Almost menacing. Dark clouds swirled overhead. There was a bitter coldness to the air. Thomas, my friend had come in to save me from Elmo’s wrath. Where had he gone? Thomas suddenly rose up from the tube. He looked like he might vomit. “Please Help,” He sputtered out. I rushed to his side. Suddenly his nose became plump and orange (kind of like Squidward). His eye’s started to bulge from his head and red fur burst from his skin. The liquid that Elmo had spilled on him had turned him into an Elmo zombie! “Do you like Elmo?” He questioned in his new high pitched voice. He lunged at me. I kicked him in the face and he was unconscious instantly. “Elmo don’t surf.” I muttered. I looked around. It was just me now. I saw a dull blue car had crashed into a fire hydrant. Maybe if I could get the keys I could head for help. I slowly trudged through the snow, breath visible in front of me. It was silent. A busy city street, completely still. The car door was already propped open. The keys lying on the dash board. I put the keys in the ignition and the car roared to life. I closed the door and pondered where to go. Who could help me? From the looks of the city it had been completely evacuated. The police station must have officers still on duty. It is their job after all to protect and serve. The police station was trashed. No officers could be seen, or heard. A police car was hanging off the roof of the station. The door lay on the floor in several long splinters of metal. A scream could be heard from inside. On instinct I rushed in to the corridor of cells. I heard a snicker than a blunt object smashed into my head with incredible force. I could still hear talking. Then no sound, just a cold tingle running down my spine. {4:19PM} 2Hours 35 minutes of Chaos… “In this corner we have the rebel, you know him, you hate him…” “Trysten Crawford!” I look around with an immense pain in my head. A terrible roar of hate ran through the crowd. I was in the large area of the prison known as the showers. It had been a trap. The prisoners knew I would go to the police station and had dragged me into their hood. “In this corner we have the long necked freak, Big Bird!” Big Bird appeared through a gate opposite of me. I was handed a baseball bat and shoved down into the showers. “Fight to the death.” I thought. I slowly stepped into the maze of the showers. The crowd roared their approval as I heard flapping and a menacing squawk over the banter. I slid into a corner of the stalls. I waited for the yellow feathered creep to peek out so I could whack him with the baseball bat. I heard the crowd roaring their approval much louder than before and looked up to see Big Bird pounce on me from on top of a wall. A flurry of feathers flew in my face as I squirmed on the hard shower floor. The baseball bat flew from my hands just beyond reach. Then I had a plan. Big Bird brought his head back ready to strike. I saw my chance. With incredible speed Big Bird darted his head down. I reached out and grabbed his throat in mid-strike his head jolting from the abrupt stop. As he wheezed I threw him off me and ran towards a shower nozzle and pulled it down. Big Bird had recovered and was coming at me. I turned the handle onto full blast. The cold water struck the bird in the face. I hosed him down as he cursed blindly. Shivering in one place Big Bird did not stand a chance. I picked up my bat and knocked out the fat freak with amazing speed. Multiple amounts of “boos” bounced off the showers around me. “Now what?” I thought. “Should I just lay here and let the convicts kill me slowly?” “SHUT UP!!” a raspy voice demanded. A figure emerged from a capsule next to the announcer. I had never dealt with this beast before but had heard enough to know who he was. Oscar the Grouch was what most had called him. “Is he trying to help me?” I thought. “Why else would he have demanded order among these goons?” In the blink of an eye the green beast threw an alcohol bottle just below my feet. “Whoever can hit him and take him down will get to beat him up personally!” The Grouch announced. Suddenly bottles flew all around me. Not realizing that the prisoners had plenty of bottles I just ducked out of the way in one place. A bottle suddenly hit me in the small of the back shooting intense pain up my body. “This is suicide.” I muttered to myself. I turned and ran as fast as my legs could carry me not knowing or caring where I was going. Suddenly a flurry of confusion overwhelmed me. Where was the exit at? “Head-shots are bonus points!!” The Grouch declared. Bottles flew past me with more intensity than before. Finally amongst the chaos I found the door and ran out of the dreaded police station. I ran around the corner and hid inside the dumpster in case they came looking for me. Only two inmates rushed out the door but thought I had gone far from here. Figuring it was safe I decided to doze off instead of figuring out what to do next. {10:59PM} 8 Hours 40 Minutes of Chaos It was late obviously but I couldn’t sleep. You try sleeping in a dumpster sometime. Was I the only one? Was there some kind of resistance going on? It had not been that long since the spread. The infection… Elmo seemed to infect through biting so the infection wasn’t airborne, which was good news. I still couldn’t believe that Thomas was one of them. That was it! Thomas had a twin brother, Nolan. We had prepped for this. Nolan would have started our resistance by now. Yes of course! “Where would it be?” You might ask. Obviously Costco. There were concrete walls, plenty of escape routes, excessive amounts of food, and the Elmo Zombies couldn’t get in without a membership. If Nolan wasn’t one those Elmo Zombies then he would have already set up shop. Operation Remnant Nation was under way. {2:09AM} 12 Hours 50 Minutes of Chaos I crawled out off the dumpster immediately after I had such thoughts. I was on a bridge about 10 miles from Costco. The car was out of fuel and Elmo Zombies moaned in the darkness. The car was sitting in the middle of the road useless so I got out and tried to sneak along the road. I heard something scurry in the darkness. It seemed to be coming from the other side of a mini-van. Fists clenched I leaped to the other side of the van. In the darkness I made out a person holding a baseball bat or pole. Before my eyes the bat swung with lethal speed. I dodged as quickly as possible and exclaimed “I’m human!” The figure seemed to understand and lowered the bat. Looking past the weapon I studied the characters figure. It was my friend Riley! He seemed to know it was me. “What are you doing here?” I whispered. “Looking for Remnant Nation.” He answered back. “Me too.” I added. He covered his mouth to silence me. We walked slowly along the edge of the bridge. I saw a metal pipe lying on the ground that would make a great weapon. I walked towards it but tripped on a wheel. My hand flopped down onto the pipe and made a loud rattling noise that seemed to echo. Suddenly the Elmo Zombies behind us rushed forward to take us down. Riley quickly helped me up. I grabbed the pipe and we ran as fast as we could down the bridge. We ran for our lives as other Elmo Zombies added to the horde chasing us. We found a car we thought we might be able to hot-wire. I jumped in the driver’s side and busted open the area containing the wires with my pipe. The Zombies were gaining on us and Riley closed his door and prepared for the worse. Somehow I managed to get the car to sputter then start. An Elmo Zombie that was ahead of the rest leaped at the car. I gunned it and the car sped up with the Elmo Zombie missing by mere inches. As we drove by, some Elmo Zombies would jump at the car, others would just ignore us completely. Riley and I both gave a sigh of relief as we headed towards Remnant Nation. {2:44AM} 13 Hours 25 Minutes of Chaos The moment of truth came as we neared the corner. Crossing my fingers I turned the corner and laughed to myself. Remnant Nation was there. The door said in spray paint “DEAD” but, I knew that was to scare off enemy clans. There was RN tagging all over the building. I pulled into the driveway and me and Riley looked behind us to make sure that no Elmo Zombies followed us. When we saw the coast was clear we parked the car among the school buses we would use for expeditions. We went around the back of the building and said that it was us and we weren’t bitten. A large thud came from inside and the door slid open. To my surprise Nolan was standing there ready to greet me. We walked inside and locked the doors. “Welcome to Remnant Nation, Trysten.” Nolan said with a nod. Red Vengeance VI: The Walking Red Part 2 As we slowly rose up the elevator to freedom, I knew something was wrong; my head was pounding, vision coming in and out of focus. My ears were ringing; louder and louder until the sound was unbearable, when we finally got to the top, the pain and noise were excruciating. I felt like I was going to vomit. Apparently Killer could sense it, because he quickly ran off. Suddenly, all of it just stopped. The pain was no longer there, the ringing cut to silence. I thought everything was normal, but as quickly as they had stopped, they were both back, but now with a new sensation, like there was something inside me, trying to get out, it started in my head, and quickly the sensation spread through me. I looked down at my hands and noticed something very alarming; I was growing hair at an alarming rate, and my nose felt like it was being broken as it became orange and bulbous, the red hair spreading over my body. My eyes felt like they were about to pop out of my skull as they grew larger. Then, once again, the pain stopped, but once again, different than before, everything stopped. I felt nothing, as I tried to sit down on the ground and rest, I could not. I was not me. Words not belonging to me spilled from my mouth. “Do you like Elmo?” The “acid” was not acid; it had transformed me into some kind of… Elmo… zombie thing… then, suddenly “I” was kicked in the temple. I was knocked out cold. How could things get more embarrassing? Come on, I was an ELMO, not just that, a ZOMBIE, this was not the most dignified way to go. As I woke up I noticed something, I could feel, well, more or less. It was difficult, but I could fight it off. I still looked like one, but my mind was clear, and I was no longer one of the Elmo zombies, which shall from now on be referred to as E’s. I looked around me, noting my surroundings. I was sitting on the sidewalk of a once busy city street. All was quiet save for the faint sound of the chilling wind. I noticed a hydrant was knocked over outside an abandoned grocery store, but I noticed something very curious: two sets of skid marks, one going toward the hydrant, one going away, and the latter were fresh, barely any snow in them. Trysten must have found a way to get a car working and drive away. I decided it wouldn’t hurt to look inside the grocery store, maybe a few things were left behind by previous looters. I stepped through the smashed glass window, but not much luck. All there was: three bags of big league chew (which of course I kept), a sweet hat (which I wore to differentiate myself from the true E’s) and an empty 9 millimeter pistol probably dropped by one in the swarm of looters. It was useless at the moment, but if I could stop by home I could probably get some ammunition. I hid the weapon and gum inside my fuzzy torso, not having any nerves to feel pain. I sewed myself together with what I could find, and went on my way. I followed the car from the fire hydrants tracks to the police station. A blue car was parked outside. A police cruiser hung from the roof, it’s door lying on the ground. To my horror, through the window, I saw Trysten; he was in a fight against big bird. It looked like it was over, Big bird pinning him down rearing his head to strike, then, if I blinked I would have missed it (luckily I didn’t have eyelids) as Trysten threw him off and started spraying him with the water. It must’ve been cold, because I could hear his swearing even through the thick glass of the window. He cracked BB over the head and it was done. Suddenly everything stopped as another character entered the scene: Oscar the grouch. As he spoke a flurry of bottles flew towards Trysten. He ran out of the building, but as I rounded the corner of the large building, I couldn’t see him anymore. I went looking around, but to no avail. As it turned out, the E’s were not stupid, they were not smart, but they could tell something was up with the E wearing the incredibly stylish hat. “Elmo loves eating children.” One said to me in an alley way. “Yes, I- I mean, uh Elmo loves baby, especially the kidneys!” I replied. It wasn’t having it “ELMO HATES BABY KIDNEYS!” It yelled as it lunged at me. I quickly dodged, and managed to clobber it with a metal bar. “My first kill.” I thought as I walked off. My physical capabilities were quite a bit higher, which isn’t saying much considering my previous limp noodle of a body. I was WAY stronger, a lot more agile, and had a lot more endurance. I could jump a lot better with a lighter body and stronger legs, making easy to parkour across the rooftops towards my home. I felt like a ninja. As I got farther into the country towards my home, I had to get off the roofs and resort to walking. I came home to a note. My parents had fled somewhere safe, on a friend’s house boat far from the chaos. I was about to grab my key when I remembered, I don’t have clothes on, and my key was in my coat pocket (the left upper pocket to be precise) but I was not alarmed, because I had forgotten my key before. I climbed onto the balcony and into my house, Safe and sound. I helped myself to the 9mm ammo I needed, plus a few other guns and ammo, my firesteel knife, my hat to replace the one from the store, and some goggles to look cooler. I grabbed a handkerchief just in case it was airborne, so that I don’t spread it to anyone else. Finally, I grabbed my backpack, loaded the supplies, and set off. As I got back into the city, I saw something, a dog. Not just any dog though, Trysten’s dog Killer. I approached cautiously, and put out my hand. He recognized me. Phew. Carefully I got on the back of the dog. I could ride Killer like a horse! But where would I go? Then I remembered: Costco. I clambered atop the large dog, and pointed in the direction of the store. "Why Costco?" you may ask, A group of friends and I had been planning for this, well not this, we thought the zombies would be a little taller and not be quite as hairy. Anyways, we had a plan to take over Costco if we could. Think about it, concrete, metal garage doors, plenty of food and supplies and lots of hiding places. I planned to ride killer the whole way, but suddenly my heart skipped a beat as I saw something amazing: A Camaro. I couldn’t believe it, bright yellow, black racing stripes, I could’ve cried. I did have to do some improvisation though. I wasn’t tall enough. I scrounged around for a long time and luckily found all the things I needed, first of course, I put a box on the seat so I could see over the dashboard, then I strapped some broom poles to my feet to be able to press the peddles. I took a couple minutes to admire how lucky I was, a Camaro, a fancy Camaro. All I had to do was hotwire it and I was off in style. I was in a trance of pure happiness when I saw something on the bridge, a horde of E’s. I came to a stop as I approached the cloud. I pulled the 9mm out and walked into them, hoping to fool them, but once again, no dice. They jumped at me and I shot all around, but it just wasn’t cutting it, even with Killer fighting at my side. So I pulled out my trump card, the AK-47… a chill ran down my spine as I realised my fatal flaw: I didn’t grab a magazine for it. An E tackled me. I thought it was over, when suddenly I saw a dog overhead, not Killer, but Milo. He tore through the E’s like a hot knife through butter, saving me from certain death. As he flew off he said “woof.” Like I said he can’t talk but it’s the thought that counts. I let out a sigh of relief and climbed back into the car. Fingers crossed, we continued our ride to Costco. As I pulled up my hopes were confirmed, the door said “DEAD” my idea to keep outsiders away. School busses with “RN” on the side sat in the loading dock. I looked around the corner outside the door, where two “watchdog” E’s stood tied. This was awesome. “It’s me Thomas! Hey Trysten I have your dog!” I yelled as I banged on the door. I had made it. I yelled as I banged on the door. I had made it.

Thursday, May 8, 2014

Coming Soon Red Vengeance 5

Came here by accident? Most likely! Like the Red Vengeance Series? Probably not! well guess what folks, A  new installment of RV is coming soon! HOORAY!
CHAIR!

Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Red vengeance 4

It was a beautiful afternoon, so I thought I would take my dog Rick for a walk in the park. I brought along a tennis ball to play fetch with. On my third throw, the ball sailed into some bushes, and the dog couldn't find it. I went into the bushes to look for the ball. After a few moments, I found it. Next to the ball was a strange looking green rope coming out of the ground. “That’s weird.” I said to the dog. I decided to give the rope a pull to see what happened. I pulled the rope and suddenly I was hit bluntly in the back, I looked  back, all I could see was a frightening blur of red. But there were other colors green and blue and yellow… IT WAS WHACKING ME WITH CRAYONS!!?!!! That was when I realized who the crayon pelting attacker was, it was ELMO! I must’ve fell into a hole when I pulled the rope because it was somewhat dark and smelled funny. He stopped abruptly, “Elmo thought he would see YOU soon, I've taken care of your friend!” That’s when I looked to my right and saw Trysten tied up in a corner.  “You’ll never get away with this Elmo!” I yelled. “ Well, the S.S.K. thinks otherwise, Elmo thinks Elmo will TOTALLY get away with it!” He replied threateningly. Then suddenly, some more people came out from within the shadows. They were big-bird, cookie monster, and Bert! “I’d like you to meet Beaks, C.M., and B man. “ Then suddenly, something fell on cookie monster. IT WAS MY DOG RICK!  “WHY DOG BITE?!” Cookie monster wailed, Rick tearing at his crumb ridden flesh. "NOOOOOOOoooo..." he screamed as the faithful pup dragged him down the cave. "Don't think that'll catch Elmo off guard,  I have plans for you two. He said menacingly. He had them crazy eyes you know? Like an angry bear on cocaine. "Beaks! Take them to the vat room. He put us over his shoulders and took us into a room with what else but a vat of highly caustic ACID. "You better hope there aren't any boots lying around, Elmo!" Trysten yelled, yet a bit resignedly. Almost like a cartoon, he tied us up by our ankles above the bubbling green liquid awaiting our  imminent doom. They left, and after a minute or two of struggling, I had given up hope, we hung there like sausages, waiting. All was quiet when: BANG!! The iron door was thrown aside  and Rick stood there on his hind legs in what seemed to be a batman costume?!?!  "WOOF" although he was a super hero apparently he still didn't speak... Anyway! He leaped up and threw a knife which cut the rope, and he caught us just before we were dunked in the acid. Actually, I think I might've got a bit singed, but that doesn't matter right? It WAS acid right? hmm... well what ever. I think my voice might have been a little higher after that actually. I'm sure that won't have anything to do with it. RIGHT?

red vengence 3

It was a beautiful afternoon, so I thought I would take my dog Killer for a walk in the park. I brought along a tennis ball to play fetch with. On my third throw, the ball sailed into some bushes, and the dog couldn’t find it. I went into the bushes to look for the ball. After a few moments, I found it. Next to the ball was a strange looking green rope coming out of the ground. ‘’That’s weird,’’ I said to the dog. I decided to give the rope a pull to see what happened. I pulled the rope and suddenly I fell through the soft soil.  Screaming at the top of my lungs I realized my dog was falling into the seemingly endless hole with me. Suddenly  it felt stuffy and cold in there, and I realized where we were. Elmo’s secret lair!!! I had had enough of him and this was deffinetly  not  the first time I ran into the feared S.S.K. (the Seaseme Street Killers) SPLASH!!! Me and my dog suddenly  plunged  into the water. My dog paddled to reach the surface and I just bobbed up like a buoy. Then, I heard the crippled voice of Elmo saying meniachly ‘’Elmo knew he would find you again!!’’ Good thing I found a cool rock at the park. I lunged it at Elmo with all my might. It hit Elmo in the eye and he muttered a curse. Next  thing I knew, Elmo’s eye was clean off. ‘’WHAT THE- YOU THREW ROCK AT ME? ELMO KILL YOU NOW!!!!’’ Elmo dove in to the water and I swam toward the hard rock wall. Elmo gripped my leg and I reacted by roundhouse kicking him in the face. (a trick I learned from watching Chuck Norris.) Elmo clutched his nose. And soon, Elmo was under the water.  I knew that Elmo might soon rise up again and I never will get fooled by him again. Me and Killer both swam rapidly to the odd platform Elmo had been standing on. That’s when I found the elevator. It was a air tube one, nothing  I knew about. A way out. 

red vengence 2

It was a strange night, there seemed  to be a chill in the air. As soon as I arrived home, I could sense  that something was out  of place.  Elmo burst through the door. ‘’Elmo is back!’’  Elmo said in a menacing voice. Suddenly a figure burst through the door exclaiming ‘’STOP NOW ELMO!’’ I caught a glimpse of the figure’s face. It was Chuck Norris. He tackled Elmo with a move so quick you would miss it if you blinked. This was actually not the first time this had happened. Elmo had attacked my friend James and I before. Chuck Norris actually was our bodyguard. Chuck Norris let out a cry of pain. ‘’He must really be hurt.’’ I thought. Then Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked Elmo in the head and Elmo muttered a curse. Chuck Norris picked him up, and launched him out the window. We quickly darted outside and saw Elmo laying on the lawn still. Very still. ‘’It all ended here.’’ I thought ,adrenaline starting to where off. Then it happened. Millions of Elmos launched themselves off of the roof. ‘’RUN!’’ I bursted . I got in my dad’s truck and was off. Chuck Norris hopped in the bed of the truck and we headed for my cousin’s house.

red vengence

  One day I was sitting in my living room watching television, and I was really bored . Suddenly, out on the lawn, I heard a loud noise. Wondering what was going on out there, I got up from my chair, and went to investigate . I threw open the front door, and to my surprise and astonishment, there on the lawn was the barbecue knocked over and Elmo standing there staring right through me. I jumped back in awe and exclaimed ‘’GO AWAY DANG PUPPETEER !!!!!!!!!’’. But little did I know that there was no puppeteer, until he shattered the window with his bare hand. Then while I was slowly walking to the front door he called after me ‘’ELMO WANTS TO PLAY’’. I dashed away my heart beating a million times a second. Then someone pounced on me. ‘’HHHHHHEEEEELLLLLPPPPPP    MMMEEEE!!!!!!’’ I automaticly  blurted out. Then when everything seemed to be still I looked into the face of my attacker. My furry ,red attacker. ‘’WWWWWWWHHHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYY!’’ I yelled franticly. For a split second all I could think of was ‘’why me?’’ Then I felt something tugging no, PULLING me. Suddenly the door was kicked open. Elmo was taking me somewhere. I kicked rapidly flailing my arms and trying to break free of his iron grip. Then I noticed WHERE he was taking me, a plain dinged up van. Elmo threw aside the doors, and threw aside me too. All I heard in a almost gangster like voice was ‘’Cookie Monster step on it!’’ What was that I was sitting on? I pulled it from underneath me and saw a large hiking boot. Then I said in a menacing voice ‘’Elmo meet MR. Boot.’’ I instinctively wacked Elmo upside the head with the boot and let cookie monster have his too. The van swerved of the road and into some garbage cans. I hopped out the back. Besides what had just happened it was a pretty good day. The van didn’t even leave the driveway. Cool.    
                                                                     AFTERWORD

LOCATION: THE BAHAMAS
    ‘’Nice to see you today MR. Ackmer .’’ A man in a suit said silently. Wait what was that out of the corner of his eye. Elmo? ‘’Sir do you see that too?’’MR.Ackmer questioned DR. Stanfler. ‘’Yes, we must quickly exit through the back bef-‘’  A defaning boom came from the break room. Suddenly the door flew off its hinges .Elmo appeared exclaiming blankly ‘’LETS PLAY A GAME.’’ Both men quavered.

Здравствуйте

Здравствуйте русских и русскоязычных Я немного говорю по русский так что этот пост будет русский. Таким образом, вы знаете, что сосет белые парни с дредами
              уродливые правильно?

они действительно думают, что они могут осуществить это, но они не могут.Мне жаль, что я мог думать достаточно долго, чтобы сделать лучше больше сообщений
Мой ход мыслей является немым и вида несет вещей, один ... в ...... время ...

Monday, March 11, 2013


<a href="http://theoatmeal.com/quiz/zombie_bite"><img src="http://theoatmeal.com/img/quizzes/generated/7_55_minutes.jpg" alt="The Zombie Bite Calculator" /></a>
<p>Created by <a href="http://theoatmeal.com">Oatmeal</a></p>

Sunday, January 27, 2013

Origami

I have a thing for origami, I have made almost everything on http://www.origami-instructions.com/, I make it at school and home and always have more origami paper. Today I made a lantern, but not just any, I made a tiny lantern, just look at it!


If that doesn't seem impressive, it was made of printer paper. Its hard to make a normal size one out of printer paper, so it was EXTREMELY HARD...





















On another note, here's my dog:




spiders really suck


               SPIDERS REALLY SUCK

So last night I had woken up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom. when I got out I noticed something moving on the piano table
when I looked closer it was a freaking HUGE spider it was like spider-zillah it was the spider of spiders it was the size of a quarter.what the spider actually looked like was this:

however to me the spider looked more like this
either way I just happened to have a huge rubber mallet nearby so I decided that would be my weapon of choice. I had to fight with the spider for a couple minutes until my mallet came down upon the spider with full force it was smashed against the piano table and so after it fell to the ground I proceeded to whack it multiple more times with a log. it was a brutal death but hey, that spider should never have come in my house.
CHAIR

Thursday, January 10, 2013

comments

  Hey people how's it going,So recently I have been going into my blog, Perfectly happy,and then I think hey I bet people have some comments that I must reply to/ read. So then I check Comments and its like: No sorry you can't feel like a blogger yet because you have 0 comments, so please' PLEASE comment on stuff I'm begging you.


CHAIR

Friday, December 7, 2012

today I am sick

As you probably know from the title I am sick today, this post may not make sense because I am dizzy and nauseous and I am just blogging to pass the time. I am sitting in my chair miserably with a blanket over my head and a bowl clutched in my arms from the outside I probably look like this:
anyway...I was thinking about signing up for AdSense so if you think I should sign up leave a comment or do the poll.

UPDATE: poll closed

CHAIR!

Monday, October 29, 2012

hi

HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIeveryone

Bob Ross

Hey it's me Nolan, and I think I am going to start posting more often!
anyway so today as I found out,is Bob Ross' birthday.For those of you who don't know who Bob Ross is he is a hippy-painter from like 2005 this is a picture of him,


Creeperish right! he would always say that trees were "happy little trees",

and he would always say that clouds were happy little clouds,


so it is a proven fact that Bob Ross scares me for good reason I mean if Bob Ross were any scarier or  creeper-ish he would have to look like this:

well happy birthday Bob Ross =D


                                                                      CHAIR!




Happy halloween!!

Hey everyone, I haven't posted in a while so... Happy Halloween! Here's a picture

I also haven't drawn Senor Toast.

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

hey i'm gonna post something for once

            Hey Nolan here I know I don't usually post stuff but today I am so =D

so today we had a power surge which shut my computer off which caused me to nearly throw my camera at my brother so when I turned it back on it makes these spluttering noises as if it had not been used in a long time, as if to say:

COMPUTER:oh man I have not been used in so long, im gonna make obnoxious splutter-y noises to help me function wrong again

ME:wow thanks (sarcastic face)

COMPUTER:you're welcome >:)

ME:...

COMPUTER:krshhhkt crshtrsh

ME: :(

COMPUTER:kshk you're kth a ghktsh loser

ME:I heard that >:(

COMPUTER:kshk no shhtka you khth didn't


ME: D:)

at least, that's what it feels like. and then afterwards it takes like an hour to turn on after the "krshhtk" noises
anyway bye bye

                                          CHAIR
Tub Chair

Sunday, September 9, 2012

Norm

I drew this fancy guy, he's fancy and stuff.

His name is Norm.

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Scraggly and Rooby

This is my alternate version of Shaggy & Scooby.



P.S. I made Rooby too small, sorry : D